Today I received—or rather, discovered among other messages—a touching email. A man wrote to say that although we don’t know each other, he follows my very personal blog. He wished me well and said he would be praying for me :)
Do I have the right to be dissatisfied with life? It would be a huge *faux pas* for me to even entertain the thought that I am unhappy, incomplete, or lonely.
This man isn't the only person sincerely praying for me; all these people are individuals I’ve met since starting my current profession.
It inspired me to reflect on the exchange of energy—on the influence one person has on another, on the way we affect one another...
I think not everyone realizes that the person we were yesterday is different from who we are today, and that tomorrow we’ll wake up thinking in a slightly—or completely—different way than we do now.
It’s like having a birthday every day and celebrating it with everyone we meet along the way—wherever we’re rushing to, even just the store.
I replied to this kind gentleman to thank him, noting that our warm, positive thoughts often hold more power than words. I don’t know him, but I’ll be praying for him too; I know that if my intention is sincere, that energy will reach him :) Isn't that wonderful?

I don’t want anyone worrying about me. I don’t like feeling sorry for myself. Everything I write is meant to serve us. It should open your eyes, while clearing my mind and preparing me for better times ahead.

I feel happy, and apparently, I look it, too. Since Dad has been gone, I no longer dread the phone ringing—fearing it might disrupt my plans or that he would try to force something on me. I feel truly free, and I try to embrace the time I dedicate to self-healing with my whole being. I think I’m ready to go back to work; I want to share my daily experiences with those who need them.
After we met once, Tim wrote to me saying that I make people feel special and inspire them to become the best versions of themselves. I’ve never received a better compliment, and whenever everything around me suddenly seems to lose its meaning, I try to remind myself of his words. :)
My yoga teacher training is off to a flying start!
I have seven intense months ahead of me, and I can’t wait for every single experience—even the smallest ones!
There are great people in my group; surprisingly, there are even three men. Some chose this path because they want a career change, others because of a friend, some to learn how to open up, and others to be able to tap into the power that comes from connecting the heart with the body and mind in any situation.
The studio is spacious and has a sunny window. We hold our sessions in a meditative posture, sitting in a circle, of course. In the center, the instructors created a space where everyone placed a sentimental object and shared the story behind it. A few people openly wept as they opened up. I loved the way we held hands at the end—left hand facing up to receive energy from the person next to us, and right hand facing down to pass our own energy to the person on the right. At one point, we tried hovering our hands without touching skin to see what we’d feel, and it was amazing :) I’d recommend this for families—it’s a great alternative to argumentative discussions. All in all, I think people don't need to talk so much; we should focus on simply... feeling one another.
I knew this would all be interesting, but I didn't expect that—right there during the first meeting—I would open a book and find answers to many questions that had long been on my mind. I’d like to share this.
We have long known that human beings are not the supreme entity or the ultimate concentration of energy. Humans did not create the weather, the interactions between nature and material objects, bacteria, or elementary particles.
Some call the Creator "God," others "Higher Energy," while I like to "blame" the Cosmos—or credit it.
It is no coincidence that I am writing about this right now; the Cosmos gave me a bit of free time and the choice of how to spend it. I decided to write.
It is also no coincidence that we cross paths with specific people; each of them—whether "good" or "bad"—is meant to bring a certain reaction and the associated emotions into our lives.
I write about this because, in the daily grind, we tend to forget it. Just as we often fail to notice the signs meant to reach our intuition. Instead of quiet meditation—which I would happily define as simply sitting in an armchair with a cup of tea—we often choose a trip to the mall or watching television.
As a dear friend of mine once said: "Life is about choices."
I would add: and about trust. If we focused properly on making the right choices while placing unconditional trust in the Cosmos—or God—it would be easier for us to accept everything; we would also have far more opportunities, even on busy days, to exchange information with people at our own or a higher energetic level, as well as with the divine Cosmos.
On Tuesday, I met with an asshole—which is exactly what my new friend called himself.
I’ll take the liberty of describing this meeting briefly, because everything about it was wonderfully ordinary yet incredibly special.
I don’t know what "Douchebag’s" true intentions were (I start laughing every time I use that word :p), but for a full week, day after day, I waited impatiently to see him. I’m not entirely sure why, as physical intimacy wasn’t the priority... Day by day, I was just increasingly hungry for the feelings that come over me when he’s around—that’s all there was to it. To me, it was a social get-together; I even brought a box containing Jenga, chess, and the like.
We never actually took the games out of the box, though. I felt that strong, deeply masculine energy again when he hugged me. This time, it was a blend of desire and a sense of security. I like that he doesn’t wear cologne; it lets me get a good whiff of every part of him—after all, we tend to smell different all over, and everyone has their own unique scent.
We headed toward the bed, of course, but we didn’t undress—at least not at first, and not in the physical sense, because I really do love baring my soul to him. So, I had no qualms about unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time. I did it because I wanted to feel the warmth of his skin.
Neither of us was really thinking about mechanical sex. We talked a little, basking in each other's presence. I wanted to tell him that all week I’d felt like we were communicating telepathically, but then he mentioned that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about me all week, so I didn’t need to ask. I took off my top because I wanted more of my body to touch his. Later, I took off our socks and leggings.
I asked him to take off his trousers. He wasn't wearing any underwear, and I really liked that. He stood naked before me as I lay there, and we felt completely at ease. We caressed each other like that for three hours without a single kiss, yet I felt as though we had drifted off into an entirely different dimension. From an outsider's perspective, it would have looked like two adults rolling around on a bed. But from my perspective, I cannot describe what I felt. And even if I could, I would want to keep it to myself. So why am I writing about this? I mention it because I recognized elements of Pranayama yoga in our encounter. Our skin touched, and we breathed in unison, uniting our hearts, minds, and bodies. Yoga teachers say that when people—even on their own—achieve such a state of enlightenment, a channel opens up, transmitting information between the individual and the cosmos or a higher energy. I wish that everyone with a little spare time could look deep within themselves like that and discover what the cosmos wants to tell them. I’ll just add that, until a few days ago, I would have considered this merely an interesting theory; however, the moment he voiced the very thought that was in my mind, that theory was confirmed. The thought was ours alone, so I won't share it.

 Today’s blog post is titled "Choices."
We ought to make them consciously and without a shadow of a doubt.

I feel like someone upon whom cosmic information is pouring down, whether I want it to or not. You can call me an emotional madwoman if you like, but I don’t feel that way for a single moment.
 Seven years ago, on Thanksgiving, when I pulled out a gun and fired a shot through the window, I knew my existential pain was about to end.
I reloaded and pressed the barrel against my jaw. I felt a twinge of fear, but the desire to vanish forever was stronger. I counted to three and pulled the trigger... but the gun didn't fire; the bullet had miraculously jammed.
Furious, I looked up at the sky through the window and said, "Fuck."
I put the gun away, thinking it was a sign—a command—that I was condemned to live. What a paradox. :)
I decided in that moment, that I'll do everything to live my life the best as I can and politely backed to the table. Of course for questions did I hear the shooting, I said "no".
Today, I love my life, I love myself, and I love sharing my love with others. I am ready for comfortable and uncomfortable situations. I believe the cosmos places only the right people on my path and so far I feel blessed as crazy and the way, how I think is my conscious choice.
I’m off now—I need to grab a bite to eat before class. I’ll be teaching you all how to breathe. :)


I’d just like to add—while eating organic, skinless, and boneless sardines :)—that the way we nourish ourselves also affects the purity of our energy. The cleaner our body, the cleaner and clearer our thoughts, and the greater the likelihood of exchanging information with the cosmos!

And you, what are you going to eat today for the dinner?!

With peace and unconditional love.